Number 69: Fried Plantain

7 Jul

I am going to re-name this post “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Frying Plantains.”  Basically because I did it like a complete idiot and almost burned my own house down.   Here are my rules for how to fry plantains if you’re looking to maim, injure, or otherwise harm yourself and your loved ones.

1. After neatly cutting the plantain into thin slices, fill a pan up with canola oil and turn the temperature up as high as it will possibly go.  I mean, it should be so hot that smoke is pouring forth from the pan.  Yeah, that’s it.  Even though that recipe tells you to measure the temperature of the oil and bring it to 340 degrees, you don’t own a thermometer, so that doesn’t apply to you.  You can estimate just as well.

Nicely sliced plantains

2.  Drop the plantains into the oil from a few inches above.  That way the hot oil will splatter all over your bare skin and scald you. That feels great, doesn’t it?

3. Remove your “fried plantains” from the burning hot oil using a PLASTIC slotted spoon.

4. Realize that you may have turned the heat up a bit too high.

5. After smoke fills the kitchen and burning plastic fumes invade your lungs, try dumping the bubbling oil into the kitchen sink.  Nothing bad will happen, Nothing at all.  After deciding to keep the oil in the pan and let it cool, feel free to throw a few drops of water into the pan every once in a while to see if it’s still hot. It will sound nothing like the Battle of Gettysburg in your kitchen.

6. Start a new batch of oil and turn heat up a bit less this time.

7. Continue to drop plantains into hot oil from great heights; it’s no fun without the splatter!

8. When the plantains are done frying, take one out of the hot oil and touch it immediately.  Just pick it up and hold it for a while.

9.  While plantains are still burning hot and not even close to being blotted free of oil, cover them in cinnamon-sugar.

10.  (This step is the only one you SHOULD follow) Take a warm slice of freshly-baked banana pumpkin chocolate chip bread, cover it in sweet fried plantains, then drizzle with honey and chocolate syrup.  Don’t forget a glass of milk!

If you don’t kill yourself first (which blatantly almost happened), plantains are pretty cool. The raw pieces taste pretty much the same as banana- a bit less flavorful, perhaps- but the fried ones are super sweet, with or without cinnamon-sugar on top.  Warm, slightly crisp on the outside, and soft in the inside, these are the perfect toppers for any ridiculously indulgent dessert.

Last one!


6 Responses to “Number 69: Fried Plantain”

  1. Laura in Cancun July 7, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    We eat these all the time in Mexico, but I like your recipe better 🙂

    If it makes you feel better, I was making quesadillas Monday night when one stuck to the pan. In my desperation to un-stick it, I decided it would be a good idea to GRAB THE SIZZLING HOT FRYING PAN (to steady it of course). burned 2 fingers. Feel like an idiot.

  2. IntenseGuy July 8, 2011 at 6:13 am #

    Wow! Who knew cooking some “bananas” could get so exciting!!

    I’m glad you are more or less unhurt and you didn’t burn your house down! And I hope you buy a thermometer!

    I’ve seen cooking shows with the “Pros” where hot oil catches fire and causes havoc – so don’t feel too badly!

  3. Allison @ PickyEatingRD July 10, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    Eeeek! I would have been freaking out! I do love plantains though. Trader Joe’s makes plantain chips that are to die for!

  4. Bridget July 14, 2011 at 1:53 am #

    You…..are…….awesome. I’m laughing so hard I think I woke a sleeping RJ up. HA!! And yum, they look deelish!!


  1. Number 53: Abalone | OMNIVORE100PROJECT - January 18, 2012

    […] have been many times during this blogging journey that I’ve felt completely lost.  The time that I almost burnt my apartment down by trying to fry plantains, the time that I attempted to shuck raw oysters, the time that I wandered through Chinatown […]

  2. Number 41: Curried Goat | OMNIVORE100PROJECT - March 11, 2012

    […] The rice and beans were the perfect starchy pairing and also helped combat the spiciness of the goat.  The steamed cabbage was delish, too, but I think the highlight of the meal for me was the fried plantain.  It was sweet and bright and was definitely a nice contrast to an otherwise heavy plate of food.  And it was ten times better than the fried plantain I attempted to make a few months ago! […]

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