Number 57: Dirty Gin Martini

10 Nov

Doing a novel for NaNoWriMo has been pretty tough so far.  It’s hard to get yourself motivated to write, especially when it’s a scene you’re not so crazy about or a scene that you have no real plans for.  Yesterday, I had was struggling.  A lot.  I was writing a scene where all the characters were drunk and having a tough time of it.  That’s when I decided that it might be more convincing if I myself was, well, intoxicated.  Call it “method writing.”

I picked up some vermouth from the store and headed home.  I dumped some ice in my shaker and added about 2 1/2 ounces of Bluecoat gin.  I am obsessed with this gin, simply because of the bottle.  I seriously could stare at the bottle all day long, it so gorgeous.  I added half an ounce of vermouth and about half an ounce of olive juice.  I was going to stir it up, then remembered that James Bond prefers his martinis shaken, not stirred.  And what’s good enough for James Bond is good enough for me!  I shook that shit up and strained it, then added a few olives.

I’m not going to lie- I have never had a real martini in my life.  I have had chocolate ones, lemon ones, apple ones…but never a serious “big girl” martini.  It was horrific.  Really, truly horrific.  Gin is simply not something I can drink on its own, really.  Tequila, yes, but not gin.  I didn’t have more than two sips…which meant I had to suffer through writing the drunk scene with no liquid assistance.

Also, while attempting to drink the martini, I realized why people put olives in the drink.  I found myself chasing each sip with an olive, just to take the horrible taste of martini out of my mouth.  I ended up pouring in tons more olive juice, too, but it didn’t help.

Speaking of olive juice, did you know that if you mouth the words “olive juice,” it looks like you’re saying “I love you?”  Ah, the things you learn in school… Also, if you mouth the words “I want a Fig Newton,” well…I won’t explain that one any further.

While this was nothing compared to the
absinthe I had in Prague, it was still completely undrinkable.  I have no idea how this is such a popular drink and, frankly, I never plan on having one again.  I think I’ll stick to nice, frosty pints of beer from now on, thank you very much!


9 Responses to “Number 57: Dirty Gin Martini”

  1. IntenseGuy November 10, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

    Gooussssh, youse shured oft drunk sumtin elsh so yer kood writ that scen wid ther *hic!* drunk peepuls in hit!

  2. Laura in Cancun November 10, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    I had a real martini once I think, and wasn’t impressed. Hey, at least the less you drink it, the longer the pretty bottle will last!

  3. Nancy November 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm #

    You either love it or you hate it. Personally I hate the stuff which is why I always keep a nice bottle of vodka on hand. It mixes well with everything from juice to soda and in a pinch you can pound it down with little to no aftertaste. Best of all after 3 or 4 shots of the little suckers you don’t care how horrible it tastes. I’ve even had it with chocolate milk. Yup. Next time make it vodka.

  4. Amy November 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Hold the olive juice, and the vermouth. I’ll take my Hendrick’s shaken straight up please. Perhaps muddled with some cucumber, but I would never taint the delicious flavor of my favorite gin with anything else. I’m surprised you would naturally think to stir a martini. How old school.

  5. Allison @ PickyEatingRD November 13, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

    Blah! I am with ya I cannot stand regular martinis. Must.Have.Chocolate.

  6. Sophia @ Raven Waves November 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    Yikes! Gin is the one alcohol I say no to. Btw, you’re doing awesome on the list!!

  7. M.O.M. November 16, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    Martinis make my division symbol sad.

    Inside joke.

  8. Monique November 27, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    Love the picture! I attempted NaNoWriMo last year and kind of failed miserably. I got about 60% of the way through what I wanted to write. Then I left it for an entire year. I’m contemplating picking it back up 🙂

  9. Bridget December 1, 2011 at 12:21 am #

    I’m sorry, all I can think of is Some Like It Hot!……”have you got any maraschino cherries on you?” I must say that this looks so gross! And I’ve never had a real martini either…even the fake ones make me want to puke. Gin is the WORST.

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